I stress out every time I think about this, and I don’t even have kids yet.
Part of my stress comes from the judgment surrounding the issue. Working moms get judged in the “mommy wars” dialogue for being self-centered. Stay-at-home-moms get dismissed as not being ambitious or driven enough. The (false) dichotomy and stigmas are so frustrating.
In honor of moms and future moms everywhere who make tough career decisions–and in hopes of less judgment in the future–here is a 5-minute (as in, made in 5 minutes) flowchart on the dilemma.
How it feels, societal stigmas in my face:
[Update, 11 p.m.: In case you were looking for an actual flow chart with answers, here's another take.]
In all seriousness though, any other ladies ever feel this way?
Featured image by x-ray delta one via cc.
More like this:
A few things from the way I see them. First, even if you choose to stay at home you’re not ruining everything the feminist movement fought for, because it’s a choice now and not just an expectation. Second, you’re not necessarily wasting your education, skills and talents if you stay home with a kid, because you can use them to raise an awesome, well-rounded person. Third, there’s no reason that a decision to stay home with the kids has to be permanent. You could stay home for a while if you wanted and then go back to work.
I appreciate Jens Odegaard’s comment as it is reasonable and logical, and everything he says is true. As a woman who had raised four children though, I have felt the conflict Ms. Long is describing. As you can see on the flow chart, there is no guiltless path for a woman when it comes to the stay at home vs. working mom dilemma. It is the social stigma and the internal conflict it creates that causes the angst.
I straight-up LOL’ed at “Way to ruin everything our feminist foremothers fought for.”
In all seriousness, I’d like to see a flowchart for brochachos. My dad was a stay-at-home dad, and I’d love to read a flowchart for dudes. Since our economy is producing more freelancers of both sexes and high-earning ladies than ever before, it’s often a viable option for heterosexual couples.